Java Ate Zohner! – #95

Stolendroids Podcast

podcast catfish

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Ever meet someone who wasn’t who they said they were online?  Ever pretend to be someone else online?  Ever talk into a muted mic as your copresenters waited patiently for you to say something?  We have all that and more this episode!



  • Google caught some ire after their Streetview camera reportedly ran down a donkey in Botswana and left it for dead, all while the cameras were recording.  After much investigating, Google announced that people had been viewing the pictures in reverse order and that the donkey had been lying in the road, to begin with, got up, and then moved to the side as the car passed.  As far as they know, the donkey is still alive and well.  Couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
  • Proving that you can’t make a marketing presentation “too dumb”, Qualcomm gave a CES presentation that could only be described as mind-bending painful.  With actors pretending to be hackers, Big Bird, Steve Ballmer trolling and ignoring the Qualcomm CEO, a Rolls Royce driving onto the stage for no apparent reason, and a Maroon 5 performance being overdubbed by a Dido cover, one tech journalist tweeted “It’s like reality has somehow jumped the shark.”
  • The White House’s “We The People” petition system has seen a slight change after so many people signed the proposal for a Death Star to be built.  Originally, the system required 5000 signatures to get a White House response but then was changed to 25,000 in an effort to discourage pranksters.  After the Death Star petition was able to draw far more than the required 25,000 officials decided to up the number to 100,000.  It’s like they’re just challenging us now!
  • A research project that began 34 years ago has finally come to a close and it’s findings have been announced.  The project that was developed to help prove the existence of dark matter in the universe announced with great confidence that they hadn’t found any proof of dark matter in the slightest.  The project’s name, “BUST”, suddenly also became its findings.
  • While many people complain of US companies sending jobs overseas, one American worker decided to send his job over himself.  The administration found that an office worker’s VPN login was being used through a Chinese IP address, even though they were looking at him sitting at his desk.  Further investigation showed that he had outsourced parts of his jobs to different overseas vendors, while he sat back and played on his company’s internet.  He was terminated, ironically, shortly after having received recognition for producing such reliable and exemplary work.
  • Need a girlfriend to make your ex jealous?  This Brazilian website will create a profile of a fake girl and post it on any social media for you to show off.  Don’t worry ladies, the company will soon start providing fake boyfriend profiles as well.
  • How will this all end?  Probably in tears.  A judge has ordered Apple and Amazon to play nice and decide how to use the term App Store between the two of them.

Talking Point:

Catfishing Online

Zuke’s Favorite: Killary Clinton
Zohner’s Favorite: Darth Schwarzenegger
Stark’s Favorite: It’s a rap battle for the precious
Schmidty’s Favorite: The NFL: A Bad Lip Reading, Sparkfun Starter Kit for Arduino


Executive Producer for Stolendroids Podcast. Also resident 'tech-head' and de-facto leader of the group.

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