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You’ve obviously noticed we moved, since you’re reading this.  I wish I could say it was easy, but it certainly wasn’t hard either.  It’s nice to know that technology and the web in general have advanced to the point that it takes less than 12 hours to install a fully functional website, create a domain name, DNS forwards, and SQL-backed blog. 

Also somewhat comforting to know that most people DON’T know that, and I can still charge unethical amounts of money to do it for other people (hehe).

My wife and I went out for lunch on Saturday (something we haven’t been able to do for a long time, it seems), where we witnessed a “fine” display of parenting a few tables away.  At the table was two women (a mother and her friend/sister/don’t really know/care) and a little boy who must have been around three years old.  The little boy was in the throws of a huge tantrum, which he carried for more than the entire length of our meal.  Seriously, he was screaming when we were seated, he was screaming when we left.

Now, kids don’t always behave like we’d want them to in a public setting.  Kids will do what kids do, and you sort of have to accept that.  However, if your child is screaming bloody murder and throwing food to the point that EVERYONE IN THE RESTAURANT is staring at you, perhaps you should do something about it, and not continue talking to your friend.  Talk to him, scold him, calm him, take him outside.  Just do something!

We have friends that say they never want kids, for exactly this reason.  I love my kids, and wouldn’t trade any of them for anything.  However, it’s hard to convince other people of the merits of reproduction when their primary examples are kids like Sir Screamalot (much the same way I can’t convince my wife to watch Sci-Fi with me, when most the shows on that channel are utter crap).

Parents take note: in days of yore, your child would’ve been drowned for acting like that.  In front of you.

Second example of parenting gone awry was at the store the other day, while I passed through the electronics section.  Even if I’m there for baby formula and a furnace filter, I WILL pass through the electronics section.  It’s like those migratory routes that birds have programmed into their DNA, I just can’t help it.

While “passing through”, I took note of the video games out and their prices.  I also took note of the 9 year old and his mom buying Condemned 2.

Mom: “Are you sure this is the one you want?”

Kid: “Yeah mom, I’m sure.”

Mom: “OK, well it’s not cheap, so make sure you want it, cause I don’t want to have to return it.”

Are you frakking kidding me?  You’re more worried about having to go out of your way to return a game that has been described as “a deranged psychotic bloodbath“.  A game you should perhaps actually look at the cover of before buying it for him?

Not all video games are Mario or Ecco The Dolphin (thankfully, very few are Ecco The Dolphin).  Some are actually dark, disturbing, and are rated as such!  If you are unfamiliar with ESRB ratings, then do yourself and your family a favor and don’t buy another video game until you educate yourself like an actual responsible parent.  If your kids have an issue with it, tell them to help you understand faster.

Now, I like video games.  I like some games that are rated M, and some I don’t.  That’s my call and my right.  If you’re a parent, and you know what M means, and you’re ok with your kid playing it, well ok then.  That’s your right as a parent.  However, don’t be suddenly surprised when you find he’s been mutilating small animals behind your shed and blame it on video games; it’s your fault.

Before anyone even tries to say I’m being harsh to parents in this post, please remember something; every author here is a parent except one, and he’s harsher than the rest of us combined!

Zuke

Co-founder of Stolendroids.com and Executive Producer for Stolendroids Podcast. Also resident 'tech-head' and de-facto leader of the group.
  • Halley

    Haha. Try being a server at a restaurant. I just love having to reset the sugar caddies after every parent lets their two year old play with them, pull them out, throw them on the floor, throw them to other tables, tear them open (whee!!), etc.

    I love children. I love playing with kids, I love showing them fun things to do – it’s one of the reasons why I am (hopefully) getting this TA job at the Child Dev. Center that I am trying to get.

    I hate parents. I abhor parents. I grimace every time I say or do something that reminds me of my parents.

    One day I got in trouble while working at Chili’s because my manager saw that I hadn’t been bringing steak knives to tables with parents. “You’d be surprised at how fast moms are.” He said. I replied, “Yeah, you’d be surprised.” I took the knives to the table and the minute I walked away with their drink orders, the kid had the knife.

    I also enjoyed sitting large mugs of soda within the kid’s reach because I knew the parents were so oblivious that they’d let them grab and spill it – and they did!

  • zohner

    People that allow their children to run wild need to be slapped. My kids go nuts and I go nuts right back at them. Right now, my three-year-old is on permanent grounding from everything until he can prove that he knows how to behave. Sucks for him but it sucks worse for me because I have to enforce it. Too many people would rather not have to enforce anything. That’s why we have hippies.

  • Schmidty

    Ecco the Dolphin…. hehe… aw shucks… I remember when I used to pee my pants if I couldn’t play that game. Why did I think it was so great?

  • zohner

    I actually still have Ecco. It sucked then and it sucks now. The difficulty on that game is ridiculous! My eight-year-old can’t even enjoy it because it’s so hard.

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